Tom Brady’s quarterback fantasy, fresh excitement for the New England Patriots, London tea parties and Tampa Bay law firms – it’s Week Six awards time in the NFL!

Story of the day

In 2018, Rob Gronkowski threatened to retire if the New England Patriots went through with a deal that would have seen him traded to the Detroit Lions. In 2020, I spoke to the agent of an NFL Draft-bound college prospect who admitted he was dreading the prospect of his player “ending up in a dead market like Detroit”. On Sunday night, seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady said he would “love to be quarterback” of the current Detroit Lions team.

“When I look at this offense, it reminds me of what great offense should be in the NFL,” he said from the broadcast booth during the Lions’ 47-9 rout of the Dallas Cowboys.

The discourse in Detroit has transformed dramatically, a franchise so often associated with its grit in the face of hardship evolving into one of the NFL’s slickest, most innovative and explosive new contenders behind a leader in Dan Campbell, who defies the modern rejection of a rah-rah culture while striking the perfect balance between fraternal heart and elite coaching. For so long it might have been the Lions that were prone to ridicule; the tables turned as they humiliated a Cowboys team teetering towards capitulation. Isn’t it always?

The beauty of having the NFL’s greatest-ever player on commentary is the insight into the fan behind the pocket-sliding coverage-deciphering genius, Brady left in awe at the sight of the reverse flea flicker that would unleash tight end Sam LaPorta for a 52-yard touchdown: “UNREAL,” he exclaimed.

When a game has already been won long before the clock reaches zero, coaches tend to tuck away their funkiest play-calls for more pressing situations later in the season, keeping their powder dry for times of need. Ben Johnson thought otherwise, instead unloading brainchild after brainchild of his own Frankenstein-esque ‘IT’S ALIVE!’ concepts you imagine him scribbling-and-erasing, scribbling-and-erasing on the whiteboard at 4am in the morning as the overnight cleaner at the Lions facility shakes their head in ‘this again?!’ dismay while walking past his office door with the hoover.

As much was epitomised by his sassy “Really?!” as a hook-and-ladder touchdown to offensive tackle Penei Sewell was scratched off after a penalty on center Frank Ragnow for being an ineligible man downfield. Jameson Williams was then denied a touchdown two plays later due to pass interference against Jahmyr Gibbs before the Lions settled for a field goal, leaving Johnson shaking his head on the sideline. The Lions were leading 40-9, by the way. Johnson wanted violence.

In the same game he targeted left tackle Taylor Decker in the end zone, before rubbing salt in the wound at the death by letting fellow offensive tackle Dan Skipper run routes as a receiver. Seriously, he lined up on the outside. Offensive linemen across the country roared in the name of revolution; this is why they do cardio.

It was a clinic in Johnson tomfoolery, within which he sprinkled the kind of genius architecture and execution that would couple a quick snap with a trips formation to put the Cowboys secondary in a blender on Williams’ 37-yard touchdown; he is smarter than you. Enjoy him while you can, Lions fans.

The Lions also happen to have the smartest defender on most fields at their disposal as they laugh in the face of all teams guilty of overthinking on Brian Branch. You don’t overthink a Brian Branch, particularly a Brian Branch vouched for by a defensive backs guru like Nick Saban. Branch accounted for both of Dak Prescott’s interceptions on the day, the best being a masterclass in play diagnosis as he lurked forward to erase the flat option before bailing into the end zone and snagging a pass intended for CeeDee Lamb. The art of covering two routes in one.

Not enough can be said about the Lions. The less said about the Cowboys, the better.

The unforgivable penalty of the day

There are penalties, and there are penalties that leave you wondering whether these are the greatest teams, players and footballing minds on the planet. It was disaster after disaster for the Jacksonville Jaguars at Tottenham as they suffered a 35-16 defeat to the Chicago Bears, falling to their fifth loss on the year while giving up four touchdown passes and a catalogue of off-script magic to Caleb Williams.

Nothing summed up their day and their season quite like the penalty for having 12 men on the field that would turn third-and-eight into third-and-three for the Bears, who moved the chains before capping the drive with Keenan Allen’s three-yard touchdown catch to take a 28-10 lead at the start of the fourth quarter. The Jags surrendered three of their eight total penalties on the drive, while undoing the previous possession that had given them hope through Gabe Davis’ touchdown.

Pre-snap penalties are inexcusable at the best of times, but in this case it was more damning evidence of negligent preparation and a dangerous dip in focus for a team fighting to keep its season alive and a coaching staff perched on a seat as hot as any in the league. Adversity in the form of penalties and miscues is one thing, allowing it to snowball so regularly is a recipe for ugly football. Doug Pederson and Trevor Lawrence both acknowledged as much in their post-game press conference.

The Jaguars must now spend a week together in London before Sunday’s meeting with the New England Patriots at Wembley Stadium. Makes for an interesting flight home…

Tea party of the day

On a quick side note, this one goes to the Bears. Kyler Gordon was exceptional before his injury, Elijah Hicks delivered defining plays, D’Andre Swift was unstoppable and Caleb Williams produced the moments of outer-pocket magic that had been billed upon his arrival.

The ‘could be a law firm’ of the day

Tucker Irving: Tampa Bay’s answer to Pearson Specter (sorry, Louis Litt). The Buccaneers leaned on their law-firm-named backfield tandem to torch the New Orleans Saints on the way to a 51-27 win over their NFC South division rivals on Sunday.

Tucker reeled off a breakout performance in the absence of the injured Rachaad White as he ran the ball 14 times for 136 yards and a touchdown while making three catches for 56 yards and a score, having spent the opening five weeks primarily on special teams after going undrafted out of Syracuse in 2023. Irving, meanwhile, contributed 14 carries for 81 yards and a touchdown, including a tackle-breaking stiff-arming field-crossing 31-yard angry run, at the end of which he showed his softer side by hoisting up the Saints staff member he had accidentally knocked over with his momentum. And if you couldn’t love Baker Mayfield any more, the Bucs quarterback joined in as a blocker during Irving’s tear.

Tampa posted a franchise-record 594 yards of offense on the day, 277 of which came on the ground while Mayfield tossed four touchdown passes.

The ‘I’ve seen you on Netflix!’ of the day

There is a lot to unpack about the career of Spencer Rattler. He split opinion as one of the stars of Netflix’s show ‘QB1’, before heading to Oklahoma to play with quarterback whisperer Lincoln Riley only to lose his starting spot to Caleb Williams. Rattler spent two seasons at South Carolina before being drafted by the Saints during the fifth round earlier this year, having seen Williams head to Chicago as the No 1 overall pick. For all that can be said of Williams and the challenge of handling soaring expectations, Rattler has had to shoulder his own rollercoaster of projections and setbacks under a public spotlight.

On Sunday he made his NFL bow in the absence of Derek Carr, completing 22 of 40 passes for 243 yards one touchdown and two interceptions while rushing for 27 yards. His scoring strike was a precision-perfect bullet to Bub Means on a shallow corner route, while among the most exciting signs for Saints fans will have been Klint Kubiak’s desire and willingness to let his athleticism loose with off-platform throws outside of the pocket. Life can be hard with a Vita Vea-shaped polar bear hunting you down, but Rattler had impressive moments on debut.

The ‘How Maye I help you?’ of the day

From one rookie quarterback to another, the New England Patriots experienced their first flutter of optimism under center in the last four years as No 3 overall pick Drake Maye came in for his first start in place of Jacoby Brissett in his side’s 41-21 defeat to the Houston Texans. I had been apprehensive over the decision to start Maye behind a porous offensive line and against DeMeco Ryans’ Texans defense, for which Will Anderson Jr had three sacks on the day; Jerod Mayo would not have been wrong to sit Maye for much of his rookie year until there were more solid foundations in place, but Sunday was a glimpse that the franchise may have found a needle-mover.

Maye finished 20 of 33 for 243 yards, three touchdowns (more than Brissett had thrown all year) and two interceptions, while also rushing for 38 yards from five carries. His first career touchdown pass was an exquisitely weighted 40-yard slam dunk to Kayshon Boutte on a sideline fade route, marking the longest touchdown pass in air yards by a Patriots quarterback since the 2022 season.

“I gave him a little word,” said Texans quarterback CJ Stroud. “Tried to just give him a little words of encouragement (after the game). I thought he played really solid. Definitely feel like he’ll get better and better as he keeps going.”

Demario Douglas sang the praises of Maye, as did Kendrick Bourne amid the awkward phase for any rebuilding team when wide receivers can be prone to disapproval at their lack of use by a bridge quarterback.

Midnight thought of the day

We say it year on year. The atmosphere at NFL London games continues to get better and better, but it has gone up a notch again in 2024. Minnesota Vikings fans were phenomenal last week as their team rallied to victory over Aaron Rodgers and the New York Jets, and on Sunday it felt like we were at Soldier Field as Chicago Bears fans travelled over in their thousands to see Williams out-duel Trevor Lawrence.

I spoke to multiple members of the British media in attendance, and all agreed it was among the best noise levels heard at a London game, marking a fitting way to celebrate the 10th regular-season matchup staged at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, where I feel like I have lived for the past two weeks. It is an honour to have these games over each year, even more so when the travelling fanbase treat you to a taste of life back home. Safe travels, Bears fans!

Monday morning coffee thought of the day

With Halloween approaching, it is the time of year when friendship groups and couples alike begin to plot their outfits for costume parties. Joker and Harley Quinn? The Jamaican bobsleigh team from Cool Runnings? The Spice Girls? The KVWN Channel 4 News Team from Anchorman?

How about Derrick Henry running behind blocking fullback Patrick Ricard as the most frightening backfield aesthetic in the NFL? Almost 550lbs of mean, bone-crunching rock-carries, with a sprinkling of pick-your-poison Lamar Jackson athleticism to mess with your head that little bit more.

Henry features in this column every single week, and I do not expect that to change. He carried the ball 24 times for 132 yards and two touchdowns for the Baltimore Ravens in their 30-23 win over the Washington Commanders, restoring his place at the top of the rushing chart with 704 yards and eight touchdowns in the ground – THROUGH SIX GAMES.

The ‘not from this world’ of the day

Myles Garrett deserves better within this Cleveland Browns team. That they continue to waste their team with Deshaun Watson at quarterback is unjust to the mutant that continues to fight for every play on defense.

Garrett hurdled a grown man before sticking up his enormous hand to block a Philadelphia Eagles field goal attempt on Sunday, Rodney McLeod picking up the loose ball and running it back for a touchdown.

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